Vanilla Install on 4.0 = fails

Parse error: syntax error, unexpected ‘{‘ in /home/username/public_html/wp-content/themes/oblivion_/themeOptions/functions.php on line 1

I received this error when trying to install the theme to my WordPress 4.1. I had assumed this was related to an incompatibility (the compatibility states 4.0 not 4.1), so I wiped my vanilla 4.1 and uploaded a vanilla 4.0. Issue persists.

I have tried re-downloading the theme files and re-uploading them. No luck.

I have a feeling there is a server-level/PHP configuration requirement that is not properly documented.

Please tell me what needs to be done to make this out-of-the-box solution work as intended. I am not happy that I have had to spend over an hour of my very valuable time doing something that should have taken 10 minutes.